The Scarlet Letter

Now I know what Hester Prynne felt like. Kind of. While I don't have a big Scarlet letter A, I do have something else that puts me into a grouping. Something obvious that attracts attention. It says, "This woman is pregnant. This woman has done something to become pregnant. This woman is married. This is a woman."

Is it OK that I still kind of feel like a kid? That I'm plugging away through my 30's, and am a little incredulous that I'm even old enough to have kids? It's insane for me to think about the overwhelming responsibility of caring for the peanuts for the rest of my life.

I keep thinking that I'm becoming one of those people--the people I see battling their screaming kids in stores, or trying to stop their kids from throwing cheerios on restaurant floors and banging sippy cups on high chairs. Or one of those people that forces other people into listening to countless stories about how cute junior is and what junior eats and throws up, and let me show you another 100 pictures and videos on youtube. Or I'm becoming one of those friends that sinks into the oblivion of motherhood, and no longer has time to hang out with friends, or drink lots of glasses of wine, or go on trips on a whim. I will become the one that invites people over, and spends the evening fawning over my kids, trying to put them in bed, revolve, revolve world around these things....

I sound cynical. Or like I don't want to be a mom. And that's not true. I also sound like I don't like that my friends all became moms. And that's also not true. I think it's just the hardest for me to imagine how my life will change, what those peanuts are going to be like, if I'm going to be a PTA mom or a "cool" mom or a strict mom or an impatient mom.

It seems a sink or swim situation, and no amount of preparing can actually prepare you for what's to come. You just have to take it as it comes, learn from it, adapt. But in the meantime, it's anxious waiting to find out what kind of person you're going to be. It's like being in 2nd grade all over again, and writing an essay on "when I grow up...." and then finding out 20 odd years later that I'm not actually a store clerk. That I live in Seattle, WA. That I'm 32 years old. That I'm married, work for a huge company, and am about to have twin girls..........

Alas, enough about that. What have we been up to in our new city? Well, we finally moved out of Abobo (that's the affectionate name for corp housing), and moved into Extended Stay America last Thursday. One word: wow. More like, Extended Chiropractic Visits. Or, Extended Foot Fungus. Or, Extended Time to Not Sit in the Nasty Chair in order not to catch something. or Extended amounts of time stale cigarette smoke can hang in the air.

It was disgusting. Picture the seediest motel room from some Tarantino flick, and that could be our hotel. It lasted a long 5 nights, and we just moved in with friends Carrie and Paul.

But not before we had dinner with other friends Saturday night--in a cute dog-friendly pub/eatery in Fremont called Norm's. Two couples we knew in North Carolina--it was such a fun and comfortable environment, and really great to be around familiar, old-school friends. Even greater to find out that Grace was also pregnant, and due in March. Should be super fun, although they're moving next June.

We also went mattress shopping (hooray, Labor Day!), and invested for the first time in our very own mattress. Can't wait to have it delivered (4 days after we move into the new house). And speaking of the new house, we went for a visit on Monday. Rosemary (the seller) is super fantastic, and it was a great visit. We are both so excited and anxious to move in. The house is going to be absolutely perfect for us, and things happened as they were supposed to. She gave me the tour of the gardens--I hope I don't mess those incredible plants up--but hopefully I'll learn.

We're set to move in on September 25 officially--so just about 2 weeks / 2 days! Hooray! It can't come soon enough.

Until then, Ian played a great house husband and made us a delicious Mexican feast from scratch last night. It was awesome coming home from work, and having such a great meal on the dinner table. We'll see what he cooks up next...

And our 3rd wedding anniversary is tomorrow! Crazy, no? It seems like so long ago. To celebrate, we're heaving to Vancouver Island Friday-Sunday, staying in Victoria. We get there by the Seattle Clipper--kind of like a big speedboat, but just under a 3-hour trip. Should be a great get-away.

Okie dokie, that's all for now!